Being Me-Size

While I’d never had to work particularly hard to stay at my regular weight, I wasn’t one of those naturally thin girls either. But when I found out I was pregnant (BIG SUPRISE!) I just knew that I could make it through the nine months peaking at the 35lb mark. I was in grad school and exhausted from the pregnancy. I tried to exercise, honest, and I did continue to jog until I was 7 months pregnant. The jogging was intermittent and really more of a bouncy walk but still, I tried. Eventually, the doctor realized that when I was jogging the baby was doing little flips in my belly. No big deal until he was so big (and I’m only 5 feet tall) that he was about to get stuck for good.

Goodbye jogging. Hello 60 pound weight gain!

In my defense, after the baby was born, I lost about 20 pounds before I even got home from the hospital. I tried to exercise but I was SO tired! Plus, it turns out, exercise plus currently existing nursing supply problems don’t go well with a sports bra. My husband, God bless him, just didn’t get it. My husband loves me and he is a good man but we got married at 19 and I don’t think it ever entered his mind that I wouldn’t always be the 120lbs I had been when he married me. He struggled with my new bod. I’m sure the massive stretch marks and leaky boobs didn’t help either.

So here I am seven months later with 15 pounds still to go. I REFUSE to accept that I will just always be this size so I’m still wearing maternity clothes. But the time has come. I have GOT to get my butt in gear. It’s hard to motivate myself. I know what I need to do and truly it doesn’t take that much time but it seems to take forever to see results. If I could just lose 2 pounds immediately, I would have the motivation to continue but . . . its slow progress, although I haven’t actually seen any progress yet.

I’ve had a minor setback with an infection but am hoping to be back at it by next week. Until then, I will continue to eat healthy and rest as much as possible. If you have ANY tips on motivation, LET ME KNOW! I just HAVE to be back to my pre-baby weight by the one year mark or I will have to resign myself to this size, and the disappointment with myself that comes with it forever.


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