Being Me-Size

While I’d never had to work particularly hard to stay at my regular weight, I wasn’t one of those naturally thin girls either. But when I found out I was pregnant (BIG SUPRISE!) I just knew that I could make it through the nine months peaking at the 35lb mark. I was in grad school and exhausted from the pregnancy. I tried to exercise, honest, and I did continue to jog until I was 7 months pregnant. The jogging was intermittent and really more of a bouncy walk but still, I tried. Eventually, the doctor realized that when I was jogging the baby was doing little flips in my belly. No big deal until he was so big (and I’m only 5 feet tall) that he was about to get stuck for good.

Goodbye jogging. Hello 60 pound weight gain!

In my defense, after the baby was born, I lost about 20 pounds before I even got home from the hospital. I tried to exercise but I was SO tired! Plus, it turns out, exercise plus currently existing nursing supply problems don’t go well with a sports bra. My husband, God bless him, just didn’t get it. My husband loves me and he is a good man but we got married at 19 and I don’t think it ever entered his mind that I wouldn’t always be the 120lbs I had been when he married me. He struggled with my new bod. I’m sure the massive stretch marks and leaky boobs didn’t help either.

So here I am seven months later with 15 pounds still to go. I REFUSE to accept that I will just always be this size so I’m still wearing maternity clothes. But the time has come. I have GOT to get my butt in gear. It’s hard to motivate myself. I know what I need to do and truly it doesn’t take that much time but it seems to take forever to see results. If I could just lose 2 pounds immediately, I would have the motivation to continue but . . . its slow progress, although I haven’t actually seen any progress yet.

I’ve had a minor setback with an infection but am hoping to be back at it by next week. Until then, I will continue to eat healthy and rest as much as possible. If you have ANY tips on motivation, LET ME KNOW! I just HAVE to be back to my pre-baby weight by the one year mark or I will have to resign myself to this size, and the disappointment with myself that comes with it forever.

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A Truly Modern Woman

And they lived happily ever after . . .

A bundle of joy . . .

We are promised SO much in life. Thanks to Disney and every romantic comedy known to man, most young women believe that marriage is the pinnacle of life. Once that stage is reached, there will be nothing but bliss. Kids, a killer career, a happy husband and a clean house will all fall neatly into place and you will look down from your tower of awesome woman-ness and feel sorry for those struggling below you. Ha!

I’m one of those strugglers. Trying to balance a full-time job, a husband, a house that I swear dirties itself the minute I leave, two dogs and a 7 month old baby is hard! It’s not about the type of parenting you do, the type of marriage you have or what you believe. It is just hard.

Am I a modern woman? Who even knows what that really means. What I can say is that I am what I think the average woman is today. I am striving toward making my life and the lives of those I love as wonderful as possible.

Sure, I mess up (on a daily basis). I am not one of those women who is able to stay at home and make bread from scratch, plan meals for a full month, keep her house spotless, put on a nightly sex show for the hubs, make bento-style lunches and have abs you could bounce a quarter off of. I wish I could do that but I can’t. Life has had other plans for me.

I’m not rich, but I have enough. I’m not beautiful but I’m not terrible to look at either. I’m not Einstein but I have my wits about me. I’m there, right in the middle on everything. And I wouldn’t have it any other way!

So this, this is for those of us who have come to the understanding that having it all, isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Let’s get through the tough times, revel in the good times and relax in those moments in between. Let’s join forces in our good-enoughness! Surely I’m not the only one out there who thinks there’s something to be said for NOT having it all 🙂